I see fire.

Orange is the new black and inner peace is the new success, am I right? Mental health a clear cornerstone in that peace. My postpartum depression bi-polar craziness surely has been a fantastic catalyst for stirring the pot that’s been holding all my long-forgotten emotional baggage. Clearing the way to build a better foundation for …

Step Three: Deconstruct

My 3.5 year old has officially entered into the magical & wondrous phase I call: “why, though?” He’s constantly putting me on the spot. I’m questioning everything I ever thought I knew as he picks away at my whole existence. *eyes wide* “Uuuuuhhhh, I’m not sure why we have our toilet paper roll facing out. …

Step Two: Trust Your Gut

A twenty-somethings kid came to the door a few months after Amelia was born. Clipboard in hand, kindly requesting my utility bill. I had barely arrived home from the grocery store – slightly frazzled but holding steady. He stood waiting amongst the mountain of food still on the porch listening to my leg-clinging toddler sing …

My Father’s Stroke {Grieving for Someone Who’s Still Here}

Six years ago this October, my dad was found unconscious one evening after my mom returned from work. We had no idea what happened or how long he had been down. A few frantic 911 and family calls later, the ER determined it was a massive right brain stroke. He had a Traumatic Brain Injury …

Stand By Me

I’m not sure about any of you but the older I get the more I cry. Remember that “crazy world” post where the 38-year-old me is balling her eyes out on the hardwood floor? Yeah, well it turns out, not so crazy, after all. As I was shaking & crying in my own existential breakdown …

Game Changer

Before I had the clarity to just hug my son when he’s crying & whining I tried saying things like, “settle down, use your words – can you ask more politely?” But I only ever saw his little body go further into overload. “Um, actually no, Ma. I can’t. I’m not thinking clearly – I’m …

Step One: Lower the Bar

When I was a kid we played limbo at the Flippo’s skating rink in Morro Bay. I loved the place. Dreaded the game. The claustrophobic concept of lowering the bar until you either crash into it or fall on your ass gave me anxiety. I like my conditions stable. Predictable. Scheduled, organized, prepared & on …

He’s not usually like this.

It seems we’ve arrived. I’ve been waiting….wondering if my mellow-even-tempered-gentleman of a son might magically skip over the quintessential tantrums and preserve our dying sanity. But no. He’s decided to try crazy on for size and just like his hand-me-down Buster Posey shirt – he’s not taking it off. I’ve seen other kids with the …